The Truth About Love And Romance Today

The idea of love in modern times.

My parents gave me my first genuine taste of love when I was a child, not from films or novels. They didn’t say “I love you” out loud much, but their actions screamed volumes. When my mum had a busy day ahead, my father would get up early to make her favourite ginger tea, and she’d take the time to stitch his shirt buttons or pack his suitcase for an important trip. There were no spectacular gestures or loud proclamations, but a quiet, consistent relationship. I learned from seeing them go through life together that love is in the small things,  in being there, no matter what.

A Hopeless Romantic in a Swipe-Right World

Because of my upbringing, I believed in grand, sweeping gestures of love. I wanted handwritten letters, bouquets of flowers (even if they were plucked from a roadside bush), and spontaneous declarations of affection. My teenage diary was a treasure trove of dramatic tales, filled with crushes that lasted a week and heartbreaks that felt eternal.

I was the quintessential hopeless romantic.

But over the years, reality and romance decided to stage a duel. Past relationships taught me some hard truths: love isn’t always poetry; sometimes, it’s a messy experience. The heartbreaks left scars, and the glittery, larger-than-life version of love I believed in started to fade with each one. Yet, deep down, I’ve always remained a romantic at heart.

Of course, living in today’s world hasn’t made it any easier. Gen Z, with their eye rolls and perfectly timed use of the word “cringe,” have turned public displays of affection into memes.

Love letters? Cringe.

Posting a romantic caption for your partner on Instagram? Double cringe.

And while I totally see their point — who needs another overly-filtered couple’s photo? A part of me still aches for the simplicity of those “cringe” moments.

Romance Then and Now

The way romance has evolved is undeniable. Once upon a time, love was about slow dances, long letters, and waiting weeks for a reply. Now, it’s in emojis and 3-second Snapchat streaks. It’s not all bad, though. I’ve learned to appreciate how modern romance accommodates everyone’s love language. A “Drive safe” text or a shared meme can mean as much as a bouquet of roses. It’s just… different.

I know a couple who are classic examples of how love doesn’t need to be grand. They’ve been married for five years, and she laughs at how her husband’s idea of romance is “noticing when her favorite snack is running low in the pantry.” “It’s not flowers or chocolates,” she says, “but it’s love, isn’t it?” And she’s right. The definition of romance has evolved to fit the times.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss the butterflies. Oh, those butterflies. The giddy anticipation and the thrill of a thoughtful gesture are not as pronounced as they used to be. Maybe that’s because love, once it grows roots, starts to feel like home: steady and familiar rather than electrifying. And I’m OK with that.

There’s a certain beauty in loving someone who doesn’t just understand your words but also your silences.

My existentially non-existent Love

This may sound stupid, childish, or immature, but I remember being super angry with my partner. Trust me, my anger level is another red flag (we’ll talk about this sometime later). Even though his idea of romance is very mature (by the world’s standards), he decided to make me smile by bringing me beautiful flowers.

Now, let me tell you, this is a man who doesn’t believe in such things. For him, flowers were silly and unnecessary. And yet, he went out of his way to get them, just for me. That single act melted my heart. This, for me, is the definition of love.

You don’t have to say “I love you” 2,400 times in 24 hours.

But when it matters, stay. And when necessary, step out of your comfort zone and do something your partner loves, even if it’s not your thing.

Moments like these remind me why love, in all its forms, is still worth believing in. Even after all the hurt and skepticism, love feels like home. It’s not about fireworks anymore; it’s about the quiet steadiness that makes the chaos of life feel manageable.

Why Being in Love Still Matters

Despite all the scars and skepticism, I’m still in love with love. Staying in love is deeply fulfilling, even after years of heartbreak and learning that love isn’t always fireworks.

I’m lucky to have experienced a relationship where love isn’t just about romance but about understanding. The flowers might be fewer, and the love letters non-existent, but there’s a quiet joy in being with someone who knows how you take your tea, who checks in when you’ve had a rough day, and doesn’t judge your obsession with old-school romance.

Sure, I’ve had moments where I’ve doubted myself, wondering if I’m “too much” for wanting those small gestures. But here’s the thing: you’re never too much for the right person.

Wanting to feel loved and cherished isn’t a flaw — it’s a fundamental human need.

To the Romantics Out There

If you’re a hopeless romantic like me, don’t give up on love. Yes, it can be tough. Dating apps feel like a battlefield, and the world celebrates surface-level connections over deep emotional intimacy. But love is still out there. You might not find it in perfectly curated Instagram captions or overly romanticized movies, but it’s in the small moments. It’s in the late-night calls, the shared laughs, and the random “thinking of you” texts.

And to those who’ve found love, treasure it. Celebrate the small things,  the mundane, everyday moments others might overlook. Because, at the end of the day, love isn’t about grand gestures or picture-perfect moments. It’s about consistently showing up for each other in a chaotic and uncertain world.

Because love still makes life lovely in the end, it’s worthwhile to believe in it despite the difficulties and mess. So feel free to be a little “cringe.” Send that odd line, write that love note, and most of all, never stop loving.

After all, love is something we create, cultivate, and treasure every day — it’s not something we discover.

 

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